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Carol Dweck is changing the way we raise and teach children

Carol Dweck believes that the key factor in children’s development is not "how smart they are," but how they believe intelligence can grow.

In today’s world, where success is often measured by grades, medals, and quick results, parents wonder: how can we help children to be happy, confident, and persistent? American psychologist Carol Dweck, professor at Stanford University, has dedicated decades to researching this question. Her famous theory of mindset – the way we think about our abilities – shows that it’s not crucial how smart a child is, but what they believe about learning and development.

“In a fixed mindset, children believe that their talents and intelligence are innate and unchangeable. In a growth mindset, they believe that abilities develop through effort, strategy, and support from others,” Dweck writes in her book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” – reports Nova.

Praise that helps and praise that hinders

Parents often mean well when they tell their child: “You’re a genius” or “You’re a smart girl.” However, Dweck’s research has shown that such messages can have unwanted consequences. When a child believes their worth is tied to innate intelligence, every mistake becomes a threat to that identity. The result? Fear of challenges and giving up easily.

Instead, Dweck suggests praising effort and process.

Instead of: “Wow, you’re a math talent!”

Say: “I like how you put effort into solving this task, even though it was difficult.”

This way, children learn that their value lies in persistence and dedication, not just in results.

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Carol Dweck Photo: Ilya S. Savenok / Getty images / Profimedia

Mistakes as fuel for growth

One of Dweck’s key messages is that mistakes are not proof of incompetence, but valuable information.

“Failure does not define you. It is a sign that you need to try harder, find a new strategy, or go back and try again,” Dweck emphasizes.

A concrete example – a child who fails a math test in a fixed mindset may say: “I’m not good at math, there’s no point in trying.” But a child with a growth mindset will say: “I haven’t learned this yet, I need to work harder and find a different way to understand it.”

Parents can help by analyzing mistakes with the child: “What was difficult for you here? How could you approach it differently next time?”

Examples from everyday life

Sports:
If a child loses a football game, a parent might say:

Fixed mindset message: “You’re not born for football.”

Growth mindset message: “This is a chance to see what you can do next time. Everyone who plays sports improves through training.”

Music:
When a child struggles to play a piano piece:

Fixed mindset message: “You’re not a musical type.”

Growth mindset message: “Remember how hard that other piece was at the beginning, and now you play it easily? This one will get easier too if you practice.”

School:
If a child gets a bad grade on a test:

Fixed mindset reaction: “Obviously you’re not for science.”

Growth mindset reaction: “Let’s see what wasn’t clear to you, and make a plan for how you can master it.”

The role of parents and teachers

Parents and teachers are key role models. If a child sees that adults react to their own mistakes with humor, persistence, and readiness to learn, they will adopt the same pattern.

“The culture of a family or classroom can teach children to value challenges, celebrate effort, and enjoy the learning process,” Dweck writes.

That’s why it’s important that parents:

Accept challenges together with their children.

Talk about their own failures and the lessons they learned.

Encourage children to ask questions and explore, instead of just chasing grades.

Why this matters for children’s future

Children who develop a growth mindset show greater resilience, better problem-solving skills, and motivation to keep learning throughout life. In a rapidly changing world, these skills are crucial.

Dweck concludes: “Real strength doesn’t come from always being the best, but from never stopping to grow.”

As parents, we often want to clear the path of obstacles for our children. But the greatest gift we can give them is the belief that obstacles are not walls, but steps. And every step, whether slippery or high, leads them to become persistent, curious, and confident people.

An Interesting Role of Music in Baby Development

An Interesting Role of Music in Baby Development

Research shows that babies hear their first sound as early as the 16th week of pregnancy

Music and singing are important parts of our culture. Almost everything we do and encounter has some music in the background. It is on TV, in the theater, cinema, on the radio, and quite often you hum a song you like without even realizing it. From the very moment of bringing babies into the world, mothers instinctively use melody to soothe their babies and express love to them through it – writes bitiroditelj.com.

What you may not know is that babies are born with an affinity for music and often respond to it with enthusiasm. A baby’s hearing is well developed at birth, unlike other senses such as vision, which is why they respond so well to music. Mothers are advised, even in maternity wards, to surround their babies with music as often as possible, to strengthen their bond with the child, but also to support the development of speech and social skills as the child grows.

The Effect of Music on Babies in the Womb

Numerous studies prove that music plays an important role in brain development even before the baby is born. Listening to music during pregnancy has a calming effect on the mother and a very positive effect on the baby. Since babies begin recognizing their first sounds as early as the 16th week in the womb, by just 24 weeks they turn their heads toward the source of music. Besides the mother’s voice, which they are able to recognize, they can also remember songs and music they heard while still in the womb after they are born.

The Benefits of Music for a Baby’s Brain

Early contact with music can accelerate brain development, especially in areas of reading and language acquisition. On the other hand, learning to play an instrument can improve a child’s mathematical abilities. Moreover, music has a positive impact on other aspects of children’s development, such as intellectual, motor, socio-emotional, and overall literacy. Music is a unique field that helps both mind and body. Through music, children learn to recognize sounds and the meaning of words, as well as to express their emotions more easily.

Many children tend to hum songs they invent themselves or create rhythms they have never heard before. This can be explained by the fact that the child’s brain is equipped with the “necessary tools” for learning music, just like for learning language. For this reason, it is important to surround your little ones with music as much as possible, from the day you learn they are coming into the world.

Current autumn question: why are there so many viral infections?

Current autumn question: why are there so many viral infections?

A large number of children are struggling with autumn viruses – some cough for weeks, others vomit and have diarrhea, while others cannot get rid of high fever.

Just when a child recovers, they are fine for a couple of weeks, and then it all starts over again – a new virus, another visit to the pediatrician, more therapy, and some children even end up in the hospital - writes the portal Biti roditelj!

If we go back a few decades, it really wasn’t like this! At that time, there were usually three to four infectious diseases in groups: sore throat, cough, occasional diarrhea, and the flu when winter came. All of that was somehow treated quickly, and viruses usually lasted in line with the old saying: “seven days without therapy, and a week with medication”. Children used to get sick less often – there were some sensitive little ones who were frequently absent from kindergarten or school, but the vast majority of children rarely saw a pediatrician.

Now it’s somehow all different, viral infections drag on for weeks, waiting rooms are crowded, just like children’s hospitals. This is the case every autumn, and this changeable summer (if it can even be called that) seems to have only made things worse.

There are many questions from parents that this text addresses, so let’s go step by step:

Why does my child constantly have a runny nose and cough for weeks, but no high fever?

There is a huge number – over 200 types of viruses that attack children’s respiratory organs! Unfortunately, there is no cross immunity among these viruses.

This means that a child can catch virus type 12, and just a few days after recovery “pick up” type 24, then 8, then 101, and so on until spring! Although these are different virus types, they have the same or similar symptoms, so it seems to parents that the child is constantly sick “with the same virus”, while in fact it is a series of infections. Fortunately, for the vast majority of children these are harmless colds, which very rarely cause complications. The flow of mucus from the nose to the throat causes coughing, but most children do not have problems with bronchi and lungs.

How come a cold is a viral infection – isn’t it caused by drafts?

A cold is indeed a viral disease!

There is a large group of respiratory viruses that cause colds (they are literally called “cold viruses”), and they are very widespread. They attack the upper respiratory tract – primarily the nose, which is why children sneeze, have runny noses, and sometimes cough. Drafts do not cause colds, but cold air helps these viruses spread, which is why these infections usually occur in autumn or winter, especially when sudden weather changes happen. They are easily transmitted through droplets – by sneezing and coughing, but also by direct contact with a sick child. That’s why so many children (and adults) have colds these days and weeks.

How does the weather affect infections?

Sudden weather changes benefit different microorganisms. Warmer autumn days favor viruses that cause digestive system infections with vomiting and diarrhea, while colder days are preferred by viruses that attack the respiratory organs.

Unfortunately, there are also bacteria that thrive in “warm–cold” conditions, which further complicates the situation. On the other hand, it is important to know that children are also meteoropaths – it is known that even unborn babies feel climate changes.

Why do children in kindergartens and schools get sick more often?

This is a logical consequence of a larger number of children of the same or similar age staying in the same closed space. Kindergartens are places where healthy children should socialize, but that is not always the case. The larger the group, the greater the chance that someone will bring in a virus and infect the others.

There is a lot of pressure on parents to work and leave their children in kindergarten even when they are sick. This is simply not fair to other children, but it is also unhealthy for the sick child who came to the group. A sick child will quickly infect nearby children, but will also (due to weakened immunity during the infection) be in danger of catching a new virus or bacterium from another sick child who was also brought to kindergarten.

Can a sick child go to kindergarten or school?

We know that taking sick leave is not easy, but this must not be more important than the child’s health. Therefore, sick children should recover first, and only then return to the group! There is no compromise here. A sick child is dangerous for healthy children, but their own immunity is weakened, so in a group they can more easily “catch” a new virus.

This, of course, does not apply to children who have a simple cold – their nose runs a little, they cough here and there, but they have no fever, eat well, and are active. It is a generally accepted view that these children can attend kindergarten. In this case, it is a banal cold and “virus exchange” is acceptable because children slowly become immune to viruses and over time become more resistant. Naturally, this does not apply to children with fever, nor to children who cough persistently (in attacks, almost without stopping). For them, there is no group until they recover.

Do adults bring viruses into the home?

Sometimes look at your throat in the mirror – you will often see it red, but you don’t have any symptoms. These are viruses we got used to long ago, but they can make small children sick, although this is not the main reason for the significant increase in infections among children. The exception is babies in the first months of life – they must strictly be protected from contact with the sick, even family members who have a common cold. Don’t let sick people near the baby, even if someone gets angry – better an angry relative than a sick baby!

Is it urgent to go to the pediatrician as soon as the nose starts running and the child coughs?

It is not urgent!

If the child starts coughing, especially if the cough worsens while lying down, but there is no fever and the child is in good spirits – there is no need to rush to the doctor. You should strengthen the “nose care”, possibly give some herbal syrup that reduces cough irritation, and wait for the child to recover.

When is it time to see a pediatrician?

Here are the situations that require a pediatrician’s check-up:

- The appearance of high fever accompanied by cough and nasal discharge

- Rapid and labored (“wheezing”) breathing

- A cough that sounds like a “dog’s bark” and breathing that is “harsh” (stridor)

- The child suddenly loses liveliness – becomes irritable, cranky, and only wants to lie down

- Refusal to eat, nausea, vomiting (with or without diarrhea)

- Cough attacks that do not subside despite herbal syrups

How to strengthen a child’s immunity?

We are overwhelmed with various products that “boost” immunity, and too often we forget the pillars of healthy immunity: healthy food, healthy sleep, and healthy physical activity! There is NO substitute for these! Whoever invents and produces an effective immunity stimulator that guarantees victory over viruses will win a Nobel Prize in medicine and a lot of money from pharmaceutical companies! That simply does not exist now.

Healthy nutrition is the main pillar of strong immunity! From an early age, children should eat healthily, and this pattern will stay for life! The more fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, unrefined oil, natural – freshly squeezed fruit and vegetable juices, the better the support for immunity. This is the optimal way for a child to get the necessary vitamins and minerals in an ideal balance, best absorbed by the body. This is simply impossible to achieve with syrups and tablets.

A child’s need for sleep is so strong that it just needs to be followed. For preschoolers, sport should be organized play that will lay the foundation for healthy sports activity in later years.

Can vitamin C cure viral infections?

Unfortunately, no!

It is completely clear that vitamin C cannot cure viral infections. Therefore, it is completely wrong to give children large doses of vitamin C to cure colds and other viral infections. This can even be dangerous, as it may lead to vomiting (in some cases diarrhea), bearing in mind that vitamin C is ascorbic acid which can irritate children’s stomachs. The conclusion is obvious – it is good for children to eat fresh fruits and vegetables, and then they will get enough vitamin C (and other vitamins and minerals), primarily in terms of preventing viral diseases.

And probiotics, we know they are effective for diarrhea, but can they also help with respiratory infections?
Yes, they can help in the PREVENTION of viral respiratory infections!

At first glance it seems illogical – how can intestinal immunity affect immunity against viral infections? The answer is simple and logical – the intestines are the largest immune organ in the human body, as over 70% of the total immune cells of the body are located in their walls. Therefore, it is clear that there is NO immune process in the body that can be isolated from the largest immune organ of our body!

Why Do Some Babies Cry More Than Others?

Why Do Some Babies Cry More Than Others?

A baby’s cry is not always triggered by a mistake of the parents. Experts have tried to explain why babies cry "for no reason".

Doctor from the German Pediatric Association Monika Nihaus points out that parents should not feel responsible when their baby cries, because very often the crying of a newborn is not related to the abilities of the parents.

Although scientists do not have a very clear explanation, some babies are more demanding than others. Newborn babies usually cry until the eighth week, and then less and less, up to the third month.

A "difficult" baby is considered to be one who, without an obvious reason, cries for more than three hours a day, at least three days a week, and for longer than three weeks.

As a possible reason, experts cite an underdeveloped brain – writes Biti roditelj.

Do you know how long it takes for a baby to say their first word?

Do you know how long it takes for a baby to say their first word?

Babies begin developing speech very early, and by the sixth month of life, they already understand much of what is being said to them.

By their first birthday, babies focus most on pronouncing the words they hear most often, a study has shown – reports Biti roditelj.

Research conducted at the Institute for Brain Studies in Washington revealed that babies practice the word they want to say long before they actually manage to do so.

By listening to their parents, with whom they spend most of their time, babies focus on words that seem the simplest to them, and it has been proven that the baby’s brain tries to figure out how certain words are pronounced correctly. Non-invasive imaging has also shown that the part of the child’s brain responsible for planning speech movements is very active when listening to parents. During testing, parents alternated between speaking their native language and Spanish.

In babies up to seven months of age, brain regions were activated when they heard their parents’ voices, regardless of the language being spoken.

In children older than seven months, increased activation of the observed brain regions was noticed when parents spoke in their native language.

The purpose of this study was to highlight to parents the importance of talking to babies from their very first days.

Pediatrician's Advice: How Long Should You Breastfeed?

Pediatrician's Advice: How Long Should You Breastfeed?

Pediatrician Milivoj Jovančević explains how long it is advisable to breastfeed a child and warns that at a certain age, bonding exclusively through breastfeeding may reflect delayed emotional development.

Pediatrician Milivoj Jovančević says that if we were to compare children with other mammals, they should ideally be breastfed for five to seven years – reports the portal Biti roditelj.

Breastfeeding is extremely important, and from a biological point of view, there is no reason not to breastfeed for two, three, or even four years. But breastfeeding is not just biology, not just nutrition – it is also an important channel of communication, emotional maturation, and the child’s growing up. If you have only one child and it reaches the age of one, one and a half, or two years, and is continuously dependent on you – meaning the entire concept of communication between mother and child is still in the style of mother–little baby, while the child is already one and a half, two, or three years old – that is a sign of an overly close bond, that the child has remained in the attachment phase and has not begun the process of separation, i.e., independence.

So, if the communication is in the style of mother–little boy or girl, who occasionally comes for breastfeeding and cuddling, that is completely fine. It is very pleasant to have the child close, and it is also very nice for the child to be at the breast, but if you have only one child, there can be a delay in emotional maturation.

Looking back over past decades, it was normal for a woman to have five, six, ten, or even twelve children. She would produce milk for ten to twelve years, and it was not unusual for the oldest child, just before starting school, to come to the mother, nurse a little, and then run off to school. In that case, the child was mature, emotionally separated, and there was no problem. If there is an overly close relationship, we can recognize it when the child, whenever it feels discomfort or displeasure, always seeks comfort at the breast. In that case, there are no more mature patterns of behavior – conversations, cuddling, kissing. Those are absent, and everything is reduced to non-verbal, physical communication. That is a sign that something is not right if the child is already two or three years old, especially in the case of a boy, who at that age should start getting closer to the father in order to learn male patterns of behavior,” says prim. dr. sc. Milivoj Jovančević.

Dairy Products in Children's Nutrition

Dairy Products in Children's Nutrition

Milk is an important food for the growth and development of children, and in our region cow's milk has been part of the traditional diet for centuries. Attempts to generally dispute or even eliminate milk from nutrition are NOT based on scientific evidence!

When properly introduced into children's nutrition and when well-defined usage recommendations are followed, cow's milk and dairy products are, for the vast majority of children, a safe and healthy food! There are several beneficial nutritional aspects of milk, but two are probably the most important: milk and dairy products are an excellent source of calcium, which is one of the most important minerals for a child's growth and development – writes the portal Biti roditelj.

Here are the most common questions from parents:

When should cow's milk be introduced into a baby's diet?

In the first year of life – breast milk is the most important for a baby's health and has NO true substitute! Recommendations from all major pediatric, nutrition, and allergy associations are clear – in the first year of life, cow's milk should NOT be given! Preventing obesity (which is becoming a global problem) and reducing the likelihood of allergies to cow's milk proteins are easy to understand. That is why breastfeeding is “the rule” in the first year of life! If there is no family history of allergy to cow's milk proteins, cow's milk can be given after the first birthday, but only WITHOUT preservatives and additives!

What should be the baby's first dairy product?

The best first contact with cow’s milk is YOGURT! Fermented dairy products, such as yogurt, contain beneficial – probiotic bacteria that are extremely important for children's health (this certainly applies to adults as well). They aid digestion and help build a healthy immune system. The same applies to sour milk! Sour milk is easily digested in the intestines, stimulates bowel movements, and just like yogurt, supports a healthy intestinal microflora. It can be combined with various flavors and dishes, especially with fruits and desserts, as a low-calorie substitute for ice cream.

Are cream cheeses good for children?

Cream cheese is a good choice for breakfast when combined with whole grain bread and yogurt. It is important that it is completely natural: without additives, preservatives, and artificial flavors – as, for example, Sirko and A la kajmak, from Mlekara Šabac, which are the number one spreads in Serbia. These are products made from the highest quality domestic milk using modern technological processes.

Can children drink chocolate milk?

For a time, chocolate milk was considered an unsuitable food by nutritionists, mainly because of its high sugar content. However, over the past 20 years, it has been recognized that quality chocolate milk has a very important role in children's recovery from intense physical exertion. After hard training or a game, in the first 45–60 minutes AFTER the activity, it is important for the child to consume “fast” sugar, and ideally also proteins that help repair exhausted muscles. This is where chocolate milk is ideal – it contains the OPTIMAL amount of sugar and protein for recovery after physical exertion. This also applies to adults, and it has been proven in well-conducted medical studies.

Divorce and Children – Psychologist Reveals How to Reduce Negative Consequences

Divorce and Children – Psychologist Reveals How to Reduce Negative Consequences

There is much you can do to strengthen your children's resilience and avoid consequences.

Divorce is a process for which no one is fully prepared – neither legally nor emotionally. When couples with children decide to part ways, their greatest concern becomes how to make this turbulent process as painless as possible for the youngest, reports Index.hr.

Parents who turn to experts often want to understand the real consequences of divorce and, most importantly, learn how to mitigate them, writes Psychology Today.

The Key is Resilience

Clinical psychologist Ann Gold Busho points out that some children may suffer the consequences of their parents’ divorce, but this does not mean that every child will.

“Although statistics indicate risks, many children of divorced parents grow into stable and well-adjusted individuals. The key lies in resilience, which is built with the help of several key factors,” she emphasizes.

The most important of these is the parents’ ability to reduce or eliminate conflicts between them. When parents can cooperate, children feel safer.

It is equally important that both parents remain actively involved in their children’s lives after the divorce. Stability should be a priority, which means fewer relocations and ensuring financial security at home.

Research confirms that joint custody and cooperative parenting are associated with better outcomes for children, including higher self-esteem and better academic performance.

On the other hand, parents who fail to do this and face financial difficulties unfortunately increase the risks for their children.

Concrete Steps to Protect Children

Although studies may seem alarming, there is much you can do to strengthen your children’s resilience and avoid the above-mentioned risks.

Early intervention is crucial – don’t wait for problems to arise.

Commit to reducing conflict with your ex-partner and work on improving communication so that your children feel cared for and supported by both sides.
Maintain a stable and consistent environment while your children move between homes.
Provide them with emotional support, encouragement, and guidance.
Avoid alienating your children from the other parent, as they need both their father and mother.
Do not hesitate to seek professional help in time, whether through therapy groups for children or counseling for you and your ex-partner.

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