Carol Dweck is changing the way we raise and teach children

Carol Dweck believes that the key factor in children’s development is not "how smart they are," but how they believe intelligence can grow.

In today’s world, where success is often measured by grades, medals, and quick results, parents wonder: how can we help children to be happy, confident, and persistent? American psychologist Carol Dweck, professor at Stanford University, has dedicated decades to researching this question. Her famous theory of mindset – the way we think about our abilities – shows that it’s not crucial how smart a child is, but what they believe about learning and development.

“In a fixed mindset, children believe that their talents and intelligence are innate and unchangeable. In a growth mindset, they believe that abilities develop through effort, strategy, and support from others,” Dweck writes in her book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” – reports Nova.

Praise that helps and praise that hinders

Parents often mean well when they tell their child: “You’re a genius” or “You’re a smart girl.” However, Dweck’s research has shown that such messages can have unwanted consequences. When a child believes their worth is tied to innate intelligence, every mistake becomes a threat to that identity. The result? Fear of challenges and giving up easily.

Instead, Dweck suggests praising effort and process.

Instead of: “Wow, you’re a math talent!”

Say: “I like how you put effort into solving this task, even though it was difficult.”

This way, children learn that their value lies in persistence and dedication, not just in results.

Carol Dweck Photo: Ilya S. Savenok / Getty images / Profimedia

Mistakes as fuel for growth

One of Dweck’s key messages is that mistakes are not proof of incompetence, but valuable information.

“Failure does not define you. It is a sign that you need to try harder, find a new strategy, or go back and try again,” Dweck emphasizes.

A concrete example – a child who fails a math test in a fixed mindset may say: “I’m not good at math, there’s no point in trying.” But a child with a growth mindset will say: “I haven’t learned this yet, I need to work harder and find a different way to understand it.”

Parents can help by analyzing mistakes with the child: “What was difficult for you here? How could you approach it differently next time?”

Examples from everyday life

Sports:
If a child loses a football game, a parent might say:

Fixed mindset message: “You’re not born for football.”

Growth mindset message: “This is a chance to see what you can do next time. Everyone who plays sports improves through training.”

Music:
When a child struggles to play a piano piece:

Fixed mindset message: “You’re not a musical type.”

Growth mindset message: “Remember how hard that other piece was at the beginning, and now you play it easily? This one will get easier too if you practice.”

School:
If a child gets a bad grade on a test:

Fixed mindset reaction: “Obviously you’re not for science.”

Growth mindset reaction: “Let’s see what wasn’t clear to you, and make a plan for how you can master it.”

The role of parents and teachers

Parents and teachers are key role models. If a child sees that adults react to their own mistakes with humor, persistence, and readiness to learn, they will adopt the same pattern.

“The culture of a family or classroom can teach children to value challenges, celebrate effort, and enjoy the learning process,” Dweck writes.

That’s why it’s important that parents:

Accept challenges together with their children.

Talk about their own failures and the lessons they learned.

Encourage children to ask questions and explore, instead of just chasing grades.

Why this matters for children’s future

Children who develop a growth mindset show greater resilience, better problem-solving skills, and motivation to keep learning throughout life. In a rapidly changing world, these skills are crucial.

Dweck concludes: “Real strength doesn’t come from always being the best, but from never stopping to grow.”

As parents, we often want to clear the path of obstacles for our children. But the greatest gift we can give them is the belief that obstacles are not walls, but steps. And every step, whether slippery or high, leads them to become persistent, curious, and confident people.