In a 2019 study conducted on nearly 3,000 adults, participants estimated that 18 percent of their dreams were erotic. A more recent 2025 study of over 300 college students found that more than half — especially men — reported having erotic dreams, writes Sombor.info.
Erotic dreams may include sexual suggestions, kissing, intercourse, or other sexual activities.
But they may not mean what you think they mean.
“They may not relate to sex at all, so it’s important to avoid assuming a direct correspondence between what happened in the dream and what it means,” notes Antonio Zadra, professor of psychology and senior researcher at the Center for Advanced Sleep Medicine Research at the University of Montreal. “Sex-related dreams can be metaphors for intimacy or how others perceive us, or they may be triggered by tension or barriers in relationships.”
Generally speaking, “dreams are often connected to our current concerns — what we are thinking about,” says Zadra, and this applies to erotic dreams as well. This idea supports the continuity hypothesis of dreaming, which suggests that dream content often reflects aspects of a person’s waking life.
One study found that the frequency of erotic dreams may be linked to how much time a person spends having sexual fantasies while awake. But this is not always the case. In other instances, erotic dreams may reflect hidden desires (not necessarily sexual), personal feelings, or a wish for relationships to evolve in new ways.
Common Themes in Erotic Dreams
Certain scenarios often appear in erotic dreams. These include sex with an ex-partner, friend, boss, colleague, or celebrity; sex in public or unusual places; or cheating on a partner — or being cheated on.
Experts say it’s wrong to take these dreams literally, and there is no universal interpretation of erotic dreams.
“Dreams are specific to each of us — they are important messages from our subconscious,” says clinical psychologist Gary Toub.
For example, if you dream about having sex with a friend or your boss, it might mean you want to have or develop a quality that person possesses, such as compassion or authority, explains Toub. Or it could reflect a desire to connect emotionally or gain approval from that person.
If you dream of having sex with someone of the same sex while being heterosexual, it may mean that the person embodies qualities like creativity or spirituality that you wish to develop more in yourself.
Dreaming about masturbation can indicate a craving for more pleasure in your life and a desire to take steps to achieve it.
Dreams about cheating on your partner, meanwhile, might represent your effort to grow in different ways, adds Toub. In such cases, it’s worth asking yourself: Which parts of myself have I rejected?
On the other hand, if you dream that your partner is cheating on you, “you may wake up feeling betrayed,” says Prof. Zadra, “and perhaps you’ll even ask your partner to confess.” But it would be wrong to assume this means you suspect infidelity — it may simply signal a longing for more attention or intimacy, or that another aspect of your relationship needs your care.
“Some people turn to dream dictionaries to interpret their dreams,” says clinical psychologist Janet Raymond. “That’s not the best approach, because there is no universal meaning for each symbol or action in a dream.” Instead, the meaning usually lies in the eye of the dreamer.
Understanding Erotic Dreams
Erotic dreams are often vivid and memorable. “The fact that you remember the dream means it has something important to tell you and may relate to something you’re not facing in your current life,” Raymond notes.
The key to interpreting these nocturnal fantasies is to reflect on how you felt when you woke up. The emotions the dream evoked can be highly meaningful. “If it felt comforting, it may be a way of soothing insecurity you might feel in that relationship in your waking life,” adds Raymond.
Prof. Zadra, co-author of the book When the Brain Dreams: Exploring the Science and Mystery of Sleep, also recommends reflecting on your feelings in the dream. Who was involved? How did you feel about them? What do they represent for you, or what qualities do you associate with them? What happened in the dream, and how did it make you feel?
It’s also worth thinking about why you had that dream now. What might it be trying to tell you about yourself? “There’s so much we don’t know about ourselves,” says Toub. “Dreams speak in the ancient language of metaphors and symbols — they’re trying to communicate something.”
In truth, it’s often difficult to fully understand our own dreams, which is why Raymond recommends sketching a scene from the dream or discussing it with someone. “Talking to someone about the dream can help you process and connect the dots.”
Ultimately, if you can decipher your erotic dreams, you can use them to better understand yourself or enhance your personal growth. “Dreams are incredible messages that help people live more authentic lives,” notes Toub. “Every dream is a unique message to the dreamer — it’s a reflection of yourself.” Which means it’s up to you to give it meaning.
